The Purpose Behind The Financial Crisis

After all, we can't have a bunch of pesky new children running around, thus clogging up the system with too many serfs who the Illuminati could not easily control.
The purpose of the current financial catastrophe was to infect the entire world financial system with toxic waste and other unregulated derivatives, also known as financial weapons of mass destruction, to bring it crashing down so that a single world financial system with a single medium of exchange could be set forth as the suggested solution and then crammed down our throats in yet another nauseating and tiresome iteration of the Hegelian Dialectic.